Welcome to my first opinion blog!
Please note that these are my own opinions I'm stating here. I can't stress that enough. Obviously, there are a shitload of opinions and everyone's entitled to their own. I'm just stating what I think here.
So, onto the topic. Parenting. The other day, I got a lift to work and 3AW was on the radio. Sly of the Underworld (I think his real name is John Slyvester?) brought up a good point in his segment. These days, many people are being blamed for the state our young people are in. They drink, they take drugs, they stay out all night, they are violent, rude, have no respect, have unsafe sex, and aren't good in school. Now, obviously, someone's to blame here. The police, for letting them all get drunk, take drugs and not taking them home after they've been out all night. The people selling the drugs and alcohol are being blamed. The bar owners are being blamed for letting them in. The teachers are being blamed for not making them step into line. Did you notice someone's missing out of this picture? Yeah, that's right. Where are the parents in all of this?
If anyone, it's the parents who are to blame. Sure, letting your children socialise and go to partys is vital for a young person's life and upbringing. However, you should be careful. Educate your kids about drugs and alcohol. Alcohol is not a bad thing, by all means. I drink it, my 18 year old brother drinks it, my parents drink it, my extended family drink it. However, drinking it in excess, particularly at an age where your body is still developing, is not good. That statement should be an obvious thing, right? Then why are young people still doing it?
I spoke about this problem with my mum not that long ago. We both agreed that these days, parents and guardians are becoming almost scared of their own children. That is truely scary. No, I don't believe that parents should rule with the iron fist, yet I do think they should have at least some say in their childrens life. Saying to your fifteen year old, "no, I won't buy you any alcohol to bring to the party. It isn't safe" may result in you getting the cold shoulder for a while, but they'll get over it. Not everything my parents did I agreed with, yet I still have a good relationship with them. I think the problem is that parents try to be the "cool" parents who let their kids drink, go out all night and become terrors. Then they go and place blame on others, all because they're too weak to do take it on themselves. Seriously, that's not the way your kids will improve. Saying "no" to your kids will be hard at first, but it will help them in the long run.
Those who took the time to read this, thank you. Let me know what you think. Good feedback is welcome. Constructive criticism is always good. If you don't agree, let me know why.
Brigid.
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5 comments:
Hi Brigid, congrats on your first post, it's a good one. Human nature - blame everything and everyone but yourself. The world is going crazy, unfortunately we have to get used to it. Why? Now that's a good question. Start with TV and TV taking over the traditional roles of parents, education, play, babysitter, etc. Whie TV for adults (communication, not porn) has been a boon to mankind, we have let it take control of our kids, and (in my case being a grandfather) their kids. Now we have internet and th problem, while already out of ontrol, is exacerbated further.
The answer? Maybe I will follow up your post with a solution on my blog Tomus Arcanum, it's a good subject.
I'll post a response in CoffeeShop about actual Blogging.
Good Luck.
AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/
Brigid,
A good post. As the parent of a 15 year old boy, I relate to what you are saying. I am living the story day-by-day. It is very challenging to know the right thing: how much to let loose and when to pull back on the freedoms. We believe it is important to give our son the opportunities to spread his wings and experience the world but try to make sure he understands that a BIG part of being an adult is living up to the responsibilities that come along with the freedom to make your own decisions. Whenever Max comes to us with a request to go out with his friends he knows he needs to have all of our questions answered BEFORE he even approaches us. Typical questions: What time are you coming home? Who will you be with? How are you getting there? How are you getting home? How much money do you have? What is your BACK-UP plan, etc, etc.
Also, I find texting to be a great way to keep tabs on the lad while he's out. He knows, if I text him with a question like "what are you doing right now?" he has 20 minutes to text me back with an update. If he doesn't, I'm going after him to drag him from whatever location/event he's at. The fear of that embarrassment keeps the texts coming.
http://idiotsstew.blogspot.com
AV, thanks for your response! I'd love to read your follow up blog, I'll post you a comment with my thoughts on it on your blog.
I agree with your thoughts on the matter as well. So much has changed since my parents were my age - while there were some wild ones at that time (there always have been and probably always will be), kids definitely have more freedoms these days. It's a good and a bad thing, as I've outlined in my blog.
IB, it's good to know some parents agree with me and that I'm hitting all the right notes here - it's what I was hoping for! I think the world needs more parents like you =)
My parents also use the text messaging with me and my siblings - it's a great way to keep in contact
Brigid,
Blaming is just a type of denial, in a case like this, maybe denying that the child has a problem or that the parenting was lacking. Pointing the finger at others or something else is an easy way to get myself off the hook. Daily self analysis doesn't allow me to do that.
Nice blog!
Love your opinions! You are absolutely right. I have several friends who are teachers and they tell me that parents often blame the teachers for their children's behavior.
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